Homesick?

I'm feeling homesick. What the heck is this? This never happens to me.

I've always been Eden the adventurer. Eden the explorer. Eden the one who can't hold still. The one who went to Bangkok not knowing where she'd sleep that night. The one who gets antsy if she stays in the same place for too long. I have only been here for six days. I don't do "homesick."

And yet here I am, sitting here in my IKEA room on my IKEA bed covered by IKEA sheets, homesick. I'm sitting next to my IKEA nightstand which is already covered in stuff--a hair tie, a frog necklace that someone I really care about gave to me, my now-unlocked cell phone with a Comviq SIM card in it, a copy of Bhagavad Gita and my login credentials for the local university. And I'm going to be here for an entire school year.

My nails are long because I forgot to pack nail clippers and the only ones I could find at a local store cost about $11 worth in Swedish crowns and I refuse to spend that much without looking elsewhere first. My wi-fi signal is spotty at best. I hate cooking and I'm in denial about the fact that I have to learn to like it. I broke my headphones so I'm listening to music with the free ones Delta Airlines gave me. But these are all first world problems. I have it easy--pretty much everyone here speaks my native language, and I even speak the local language. I am not the homeless man I saw at the train station today, nor am I one of the numerous refugees who came here from some war-torn region and has had to learn Swedish or English to survive. I'm just an exchange student.

In order to survive mentally and spiritually, I'm going to have to make my home here for now. I'm going to have to make close friends and practice other people's languages and learn the metric system. Of course I expected those things, but I did not expect that I would actually be nervous and even lonely. This is not what I expected at all when I dreamed of coming here.

But I guess it's the unexpected things that make us grow the most. For wise people have always said that courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the ability to be afraid and go on anyway with enthusiasm. In the spirit of Ralph, an adventurous professor of mine who recently passed away, I will press on and learn everything I can from this experience. I terribly miss the people I love back in the US of A, but I wouldn't trade this next year of my life for the world.

Next time I return to this beautiful, green, happy, Nordic country, I want to bring someone I love with me. For now, adventure awaits.